D R Y B A B Y 2 0 0 8

Les Titres Du DryBaby 3 En Francais……Les Mots En Englais

Archive pour juin, 2007

“will it take long for you to get what you want drybaby?”

Publié par drybaby sur juin 29, 2007

Everyone wanted to re-read these recent blogs..

Sure thing…

Checking in Guys…

Listening to “Accidentally In Love” by Counting Crows while writing this blog.It cheers me up and gives me lots of energy..and has me singing along with it in seconds!

Thanks especially to my aussie friends for your mails..

“Fucking shocking!Thanks for the information drybaby Is it really 3 years ago wendy said she would come to australia?”

2004 to 2007….

Yes guys…about 3 years.

(Those visas take forever don’t they?..Flippin red tape..)

Keep reading the DryBaby Blogs,aussie friends..kay?

and remember…

NO TO GOLDENBOY….

(add that to your mails and messages too! and spread the word..)

Anyway….

“We welcome Karen Leslie as the television executive for Racine,
everyone should have a Karen Leslie in their lives..”

Nope I can’t keep it inside anymore….

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha…..

I have a “Karen Leslie” in my life….

She cost me £345.86p…

She farts a lot but she is worth it.

Just in case I need someone to organise television interviews for me..

I keep her in a plastic box under my bed…

I feed her on stale bananas and muesli…

She likes that…

I sometimes take her out and talk to her late at night…

“Hello Karen Leslie,are you going to organise some television interviews for me today?”

“What’s that Karen Leslie you have no interviews lined up for me?”

“You are a naughty Karen Leslie aren’t you?”

“Sorry Karen Leslie? Yes I am naked.Nice of you to notice.You are my best friend and lover Karen Leslie.”

“You want to organise interviews for my penis Karen Leslie?”

“Make it hurt so good Karen Leslie?…Okay then.”

“Remember Karen Leslie..No To Goldenboy”

Lol!

Strata…

Just thought I’d sound like the “news” writer on TRW there..

“We know that a lot of emails have
arrived from fans in Australia and Japan asking us if Racine are going to go out
there. And the answer is yes. There is no set strata of where to play first,
Wendy being of the view that you take it to the people, period.”

Strata and Period in the same paragraph…

(do you think a pretentious american wrote this? rather than wendy herself who wouldn’t know a “strata” if it swung down from the trees and waved it’s genitals in her face..)

Did you read this Karen Leslie?

You did? and thought it was so funny it make you sneeze..?

You are such a valuable friend Karen Leslie..

and I am so glad I took Racine’s advice..

and have you in my life…

Although the farting has got to stop…

It smells like feeding time in the Zoo here..

lol!

Oh and btw speaking of feeding time at the Zoo…

Mercurial Stu (a.k.a stuarttheoutcast..)

Please bear in mind that if you are writing a new novel..

Simply cut’n'pasting my blogs here..

(Currently 1,830..)

and changing a few “recognizable” bits..

and liberally sprinkling “man on man” love scenes..

through every second page..

“Thomas noticed the bulge in Simon’s jeans and felt his own
love hammer beating against his underpants asking to be free..”

“Thomas’ crucifixion make up was such a turn on for the Chippendale model and all those cruel jibes about him being a “broken down old queen” melted as he felt that familiar pushing pain in his anus..round the back of the Chippy..”

Is NOT a shield against…

Plagiarism charges and a bulky publishing rights lawyer..

from Casa DryBaby…

The rights of the author of these blogs (Moi)have been asserted..!

From the very first word of the very first DryBaby blog posted here..

You,of all people,should know that…

Write about something else..

what about (off the top of my head..)

“Why I Admire and Secretly Desire DryBaby”

oh no sorry…Wendy is already working on that.

Well then just write something about (again off the top of my head)

Men wearing make up who think they are Mimes..

“No Time For A Mime”

DJ Stixed (a.k.a Paul Budge) could co write it with you..

He did a great job on the Ju Ju Babies bio on their myspace page..

I learnt SO much from that bio…

Did you know they broke up in 2004..?

( I didn’t know they even formed in the first place..that’s how good that bio was..!)

and were part of the Blink-And-You’ll-Miss-It

Electroclash movement (July 2003-Dec 2004)..remember?

(”Electroclash-Even Wendy James is name checking it so it’s fucked”)

along with Fischerspooner…

Hairdryer TinFoil…

The Feather Boas…

Robocop USB Port…

Now that would be a book worth reading…

“Thomas felt the hot juice spray across his Fischerspooner t-shirt as he knelt in the toilet cubicle vigorously massaging his exposed penis,which he had painted a yellow “smiley” face on earlier, as he got his reward for sucking off the guitarist from Hairdryer TinFoil for the previous 20 minutes…”

Lol!

Thanks again everyone for your messages of support…

Keep them coming..

I will need them next week as I go on more “educational” trips…

To other message boards,sites and blogs..

Remember…

NO TO GOLDENBOY…

See ya.

22 Jun 2007

L.M.F.A.O most of the day…!
Current mood: cheerful

Thanks for all your mails today guys…

This is of course one of the downside of writing so heavily about W James..(and may I add so brilliantly too..)

When I write my blogs…people go and visit Racine to see what I am talking about..

When I don’t write my blogs…people go and visit Racine to see what’s caused me to stop writing my blogs..

So listen guys…

You don’t have to visit Racine..kay?

I am just NOT writing the dialog blogs PUBLICALLY at the mo’…kay?

Until the Goldenboy situation is resolved…

BTW guys…

A quick heads up for you all…

To save your poor typing fingers…

It is POINTLESS writing to Wendy or leaving “comments”…

As many of you have kindly (but naively) suggested you do…

You are not the first potentially ex Racine fans to try that trick..

There are whole bunch of ex Vamp board chumps who tried that..

(why do you think only Blondiegirl82 and DjStixed are the ONLY ex Vamp boarders who ever got their messages publically displayed?..She blocked the rest of those poor saps…even Mercurial Stu (yep stuarttheoutcast..not quite the words I’d use..!) can only leave some
easy comment rather than a full blown message..He was blocked too when he was in one of his “negative towards the fabby Wendy” phases..)

Look guys..Racine is a commercial entity..

So long as she gets P.R. “induced” comments from Paris and Barcelona
to ease her odd twangs of conscience..

(yep most of those “comments” you see in the gallery mysteriously either come from France (her “girlfriends” there are mailing everyone on their myspace “friends” lists to generate the “spontaneous” comments to make it look like people care about Racine) or Spain (the P.R lesbian girl “Kitty” is obviously doing her job too in fact check out her myspace and notice how many of her “friends” have commented on Racine)…sorry folks those “comments” are just window dressing to take the barren look off the pictures section..Notice hardly any French or Spanish “comments” under the photo of Duncan or Damon..Odd isn’t it?….Don’t be so fucking stupid,people..)

she will ignore anything else….

I am not judging her for being so commercially minded…

I am too..thus I kick her ass in more effective ways…

and frankly I am amazed to think she may actually have MORE contempt for the more “guilible” Racine fans that even I have..

Could Wendy be even more of a cold hearted bitch than I thought..?

and I am a cynical sonofabitch..!

L.M.F.A.O….!!!

So listen to a few DryBaby secrets and tips guys..

Ready?

The best tool in your arsenal….

(No gay jokes at the back there!…You are all not Joe Ortons..lol!)

The best tool is the most simple and effective…

and the tool which has ALWAYS changed Wendy’s mind on anything..

is…(drum roll please..!)

M-O-N-E-Y..

to be precise…

Your M-O-N-E-Y…

“No shit,DryBaby…”

Wendy has only got currently TWO sources of income…

1)Fees from iTunes downloads of Racine 2 (and lesser racine no 1)

2)Live show fees…(thus the gigs in pubs and the deejay slots)

There is no radio airplay,tv airplay royalties from Racine…

There are no sponsorship deals…

There are no “payment” for photo sessions or modelling designer dresses..

No fees from glossy magazine tv or radio interviews…

ANYMORE….

Everytime Wendy has seen her “fortunes (in some cases literally) change suddenly….and often completely unexpectedly..

She has “reacted to the reaction..” (a.k.a shit herself..)

Fact: MCA pressed up 440,000 copies of “I Just Wanna Be With U” at a time when the average single sold 55,000 copies if it was a hit.Does that sound like a company (or band) who expected it to flop?

Course not..

She HAS always changed when she loses money…..even after vigorous denials she would..

Do you think Transvision Vamp would have broken up..

If Bubble went to No 1 in the US and UK as originally expected..?

and earned millions worldwide..?

Did she leave the band after Velveteen went to number 1..?

Did she “go on a hiatus” during the whole of 1992..?

Did she “realise the album wasn’t very good” weeks before it came out?

Or was it when Costello’s album revealed it was a commercial disaster?

Did she part company with One Little Indian because of “creative” differences or because they proved idiots at getting radio airplay and valuable tv exposure for the album and she was “unhappy” they couldn’t get her the high profile interviews she wanted to help “sell” R no 1..?

Did she abandon Racine No 1 when it’s poor sales figures came in?

Come on people..!

Do I have to ALL your thinking for you..?

At least my aussie friends are thinking with their brains…

A lot of them have written to Apple (aus) to ask why..

Racine No 2 is “priced” the same as albums by Bruce Springsteen and Bob Marley,U2 and Madonna..

when the average “indie” album cost $10.95 (aus)

They are not very happy at all…

Thus the rush to add their “reviews”…

Funny…a few months ago Wendy was inundated with Aussies telling her they couldn’t wait for Racine No 2 to come out…

Or at least it appeared that way (wink wink tips side of nose..)

and now it has come out…finally…months after everywhere else..

Deathly silence on the australian front…

Hmmmm….

Reminds me of all those “Japanese Racine fans” who were supposed to

be “gagging” for the bands albums and tour in downtown Tokyo..

just a few short years ago..

I seem to remember some such “news” item about this…

Ahhh yes it’s all coming back to me now…

Remember this cracker..?

11.30.04

The first of the remixes is now posted on the downloads page never before a
woman like this We expect two further remixes in the next couple of days and
when they do arrive we’ll add them to the page also.

The single package of Grease Monkey will consist of the album cut, the video,
the video trailer, the three remixes and possibly even a remix video.

The remixes will also be available in their own right on vinyl.

Appearances for Racine live on television are being booked for next year across
Europe. The live shows are also firming up. We know that a lot of emails have
arrived from fans in Australia and Japan asking us if Racine are going to go out
there. And the answer is yes. There is no set strata of where to play first,
Wendy being of the view that you take it to the people, period. So it looks as
though the majority of the front end of next year will be spent doing just that.

The mailing list is pretty huge now, so expect to get personal communications
from us giving regular up-dates, and of course Team Racine will soon be
launched

We welcome One Little Indian as the distributor for Pia-K recordings, and
Racine look forward to meeting with everyone in all the different countries next
year, and Thank you for your enthusiasm and quick work.

Big-up to Edward Adoo, who has been the A&R behind the remixes and Lucid P.R
for putting that partnership together and for being the brightest stars in radio
themselves. The Quite Great Publicity Company has been fantastic these last few
months in the U.K, working tirelessly and again, with so much enthusiasm and
dedication. We welcome Karen Leslie as the television executive for Racine,
everyone should have a Karen Leslie in their lives..

Thankyou to Leonie Phillips who takes care of the Racine merchandise at Merch
Direct, and who’s attention to detail is delightful.

This wonderful roll-call is now ready to include more people, in the U.S and the rest of the world
and, as you can imagine those involved are again,dedicated and inspiring. It is always a two way street, and in the best of times it is an infectious excitement that buzzes between, and in the difficult times you just get on with it, until you navigate your way through.

Adam Yellin has been amazing facilitating this website, we thank him and his obsessive work ethic…”

So you see…

TRUST NOTHING YOU SEE OR READ OVER AT RACINE…

It’s meant to look that way…

(Hint: check out some of the females in Wendy’s “friends” list like Becka and Lola…and of course Marley…! Maybe they’re just shy and don’t want to let you see the details of their sites….Lol!)

Some of these “ladies” click on Racine’s page to help boost it’s viewership almost single day…to help beef it up..

but Shhhhhhh…you ain’t supposed to know…

I knew all along but it was fun keeping their secret…

Until now that is…lol!

They are just ordinary “friends”…who want to “private”..

and live in London,New York,France,Spain…

by an incredible co-incidence…

See?

Remember my blog about playing Hide and Seek on the internet…

Tips side of nose and winks..

So concentrate on those 3 gigs coming in about 3 weeks…

MUY IMPORTANTE…

They are the petrol tank you need to blow up…

To set off the chain reaction in

Racine’s engine…

What do you think I was doing all today guys…?

Writing angry comments to Wendy saying..

“DryBaby is pissed with you girl.You better watch out..!”

Lol!

No of course not…

I was “educating” several music boards about Goldenboy..

with a very effective “virtual slideshow” on one of my new sites..

and given many many people a lecture (verbal) on why…

They should NOT get tickets for those particular gigs..

As you all know I am VERY articulate and persuading…

I loved it..

It went fantastically well..

I truly was…

L.M.F.A.O most of the day…!

(If any of you would like the links to those sites,let me know..kay?)

So thanks again guys for visiting Racine and trying to do your best..

It is appreciated as per usual..

But your support here is ALL I require of you..

and don’t buy those naughty tickets..lol!

Anyway…

Coffee time.

See ya.

11:31 PM

Colour Them Suckers.!
Current mood: cheerful

Checking in guys..

Will spend most of today getting through your avalanche of mails…

“we totally support you drybaby.Get rid of goldenboy!”

“we hate that prick!”

“she can forget about us unless he is dumped”

There are 100s and 100s like that..

Some people feel so strongly they say they will attempt

to leave a comment about it over at Casa Racine..

So expect some activity over there today…which is so sweet.

Sorry to burst your enthusiasm guys but W almost certainly checks the comments before they go public over there..so unless it has “Great Babe” at the top she will keep it to herself ..

but I thank you for making the effort I really do..

Thanks too for agreeing with me about the sense of stagnation…

Although if you think things are bad now…

In a couple of months when she starts really “working on the next album…”

You can expect an update maybe….maybe…twice between september and summer next year..if you’re good little boys and girls..

Yep about 9 months…

and when I say update…

Informercial for left over sales of Racine No 2 on iTunes…in reality

“Hurry now guys…Racine No 2 slashed in price…Now available for only $5..I love you all.Apparently.Gotta dash.Buy..I mean bye..Don’t touch me..”

(my calculation is a steep price cut over at iTunes VERY soon to make the albums pay their way as even iTunes must make way for new stock coming in the autumn in the run up to Christmas..)

THAT will piss off the people who bought the album for $9.99..a few months ago but whatyagonnado..that is business..!

Just like all those “impressionable” fans who bought Racine No 1 for £16.99 in “indie” shops in the UK..when it came out “once and only once..I promise.”

(Sorry but I still find that hilarious and brings back memories of people on the Vamp Board and TRW message board genuinely fretting they might not be able to buy a copy…and wanting to “support” Wendy so badly..until they saw the same album being re-released TWICE more..each time at greatly reduced prices..oh dear!…Buyer beware indeed..!)

Only to finally discover it on sale on iTunes 2 years later for 7.99

(why couldn’t it have gone on sale for THAT price in 2004..?)

Colour Them Suckers.!

Thanks too the people who wrote to me asking for some new dialog blogs to be sent to them through the mail…

Sure thing guys..

Consider it done..

Sadly until this GB thing is sorted out (ie..he’s gone!)…

Racine will not be getting any “freebie” publicity…

(Blame Wendy guys…and there was some really good stuff coming up..shame huh?)

on any of my sites..

But you guys will of course be entitled to experience everything..

Through the mail..

The least I can do..

So remember guys….

Put ENORMOUS pressure on Wendy to sort things out as soon as poss..

NO TO GOLDENBOY…

or else…

No fans…

‘kay?

See ya.

1:30 PM

Stagnation is not healthy…
Current mood: cheerful

I just want to add this quickie…

The general “stagnant” mood of Racine and their fans at the moment..

is clearly obvious..

In the past 2 months only 2 new items…

*The Webshow “interview” which was so “samey” it attracted only 2 minor comments and none from the “regulars” like Blondie or David,which surprised me…(interview fatigue finally setting in..?)

*The Blog mentioning Racine No 2 was finally available “worldwide” through iTunes.I got many many mails from people pointing out that they recognised this had been “inspired” (very flattering!)by my own blog about it being available finally through iTunes in australia which they noticed a few days earlier over here.No comments at all on this Blog..Hardly surprising as everyone commented over here instead..

and that’s yer lot from Racine for almost 2 months..

Except for a host of Paris and Barcelona “girlies” writing sycophantic messages to Wendy…(There are other cities in the world you know,not that you’d think so from Racine!..)

Yeah there is a real air of stagnation about Racine at the moment..

and it is not healthy…

See ya.

4:32 AM

“will it take long for you to get what you want drybaby?”
Current mood: cheerful

“will it take long for you to get what you want drybaby?”

Nah..shouldn’t take too long.A couple of weeks,three at the most.After the all the Racine gigs are at the end of July..and after that I would expect changes at Casa Racine,especially after many people have made their feeling known both there and in other public places..loud and clear both vocally and with their wallets…

Wendy can hardly claim she didn’t hear their protests…

I am of course being an old fashioned gentleman by letting certain people take care of this problem themselves and prove they are not completely useless despite the growing assumption that they are.
But if it becomes clear nothing is happening or there is no “movement” then of course I will take control of the situation first hand and create some movement…in the words of Malcom X….by any means necessary…regardless of the consequences..

I think you guys would expect nothing less..huh?

This result would not be a good outcome for certain people and would reflect badly on their leadership.It would also of course involve quite a lot of collateral damage to their career and it goes without saying any “secrecy” element would be publically blown apart as part of that…with no sympathy for any victims..

Besides which many many Racine fans are watching how quickly this issue is handled by Wendy to give them the result THEY want…rather than yet another ignorant piece of selfish arrogance in the guise of spoilt child…

As a test of whether they should remain Racine fans after all..

Or end this chapter of the Wendy James Story early too like others…

Hope that answers the question..?

kay?

See ya.

4:01 AM

Internet Hide And Seek
Current mood: cheerful

I love the little quirks and nuances of the internet..

I truly do..

I love playing a favourite game of mine called

Internet Hide And Seek…

It is of course based on the well know game we all played as kids..

Someone goes off and “hides” on the internet..

and you try to find them..

tap them on the shoulder and say..

“Found You!”

Unlike the children’s game of course..

Internet Hide And Seek is based on subtle nuances..

and trails which must be discovered..

Especially when the people desperately tried to cover their tracks..

I particularly like it when they think they are so clever..

I will NEVER find their hiding place..

Because they have gone all “undercover” and “alias”..like

I admire the intellect which can in fact really truly hide themselves..

(After all I do it all the time myself…)

But generally these people’s intellect is pretty weak…

So it is with great glee I tap them on the shoulder and say..

“I Found You!”

The look of startled surprise on their face is SO worth it…

They truly thought I would never find them…

But it was a piece of cake..

It always is…

Something similar applies with a person’s address or such like..

Thankfully the internet (when used a certain way) can provide 99%

of this information anyway perfectly quickly and legally.

Add to that the fact I know people who are “less than upright citizens”

and the result is that there is almost no piece of information

which I cannot find…

I myself have already revealed 99% of my own address..

so I am hardly speaking from a position of a hypocrite

I do find it amusing that people collect their post….

from the average Joe Postman every day of the week….

and yet still think their address is hidden…

in a special Top Secret underground bunker….

behind 15 ft thick concrete walls..

and protected by lasers…

Along with other important “numbers” in their life…

I myself am ex-directory with my personal phone number…

and yet so sure am I that many people already know it…

I am prepared to post the last 3 digits on this webpage…

XX XXXX956

See?

If I can print 99% of my postal address…

and the last 3 digits of my phone number…

People who live in much bigger cities than Dublin…

Should remember their address and numbers were easily found..

Ages ago…as part of the “iceberg” agenda…

Internet Hide and Seek…

You Hide..

I Seek..

I Find..

I Use..

See ya.

3:02 AM

Just Send UV Mag a Zip with 1,000 DryBaby Blogs..!
Current mood: cheerful

Hello my aussie friends..

I have just sent these guys..

UV Mag

The Fun sized DryBaby Party Pack Zip

which contains..

1,000 of the previously posted “DryBaby” Blogs (no biggie I’ve got lots)

Links to Smutbreast and DryBaby and this page..(obviously!)

My email address should they want more or have a chat…

Racinesque Links….!

(ljcmg,Sailor No Youth,damon,duncan,lower 48,the other Racine page..etc)

So my aussie friends contact them down there for me,huh?

and pass on my warm greetings…kay?

Remember…

D-R-Y-B-A-B-Y…

and fill’em in on what’s been happening here..will ya?

kay?

Thanks guys..

See ya.

1:45 AM

“There is no point in having power if you don’t use it..”
Current mood: cheerful

I was asked in among the many support letters today..

“will you be updating your sites drybaby with new racine stuff?”

I was going to until the re-appearence of Goldenboy.Until that situation is resolved to MY satisfaction all the photos,video footage and pdf articles will be posted to the sites on schedule but I WON”T put the links to those sites up publically just yet to prevent Racine getting any “freebie” publicity in the wider world at this moment…

However anybody can write to me and I will mail the links to them in private mails..kay?

“will you be writing anymore dialog blogs drybaby?”

“I have a stack of them ready to be posted but once again until that Goldenboy situation is resolved they will not be going up pubically but as before people can request them to be mailed to them..This is also to starve Racine of any “freebie” publicity for the time being.Especially in the crucial 3 weeks period before the next Racine gigs..when the band NEED as much publicity as possible..

“what are your plans drybaby?”

* To make Goldenboy either resign from Racine of his own free will sooner rather than later or make his position in the band such a LIABILITY he has to be removed…

*An obvious poor attendance at future Racine gigs and a sudden slowdown in iTunes downloads following communication from DryBaby to 580,000 people worldwide (many of whom make up the current Racine fanbase/buyers)…

*A general “reluctance” to book Racine into future gigs within the wider industry will be the next one following contacts made to various booking agents and promoters by DryBaby readers armed with “insider” information provided to them about Racine’s commercialism or lack of it.Booking bands is a business NOT a charity..

*Finally a clear decrease in fan activity on any Racine site (less comments,less messages and virtually NO kudos..) and a decrease in Racine’s profile in the general internet media worldwide..
(Australia,England,Mainland Europe,Japan,Canada,Korea)

DryBaby has given Racine 85% of it’s current audience (through a positive encouragement of the online public) and now it will withdraw that for the time being until the Goldenboy situation is resolved.

Racine can survive on the remaining 15% (live shows,downloads) but will notice a change in circumstances..

This is deliberate.

“There is no point in having power if you don’t use it from time to time to achieve your goals.”
Rupert Murdoch

True Rupe..!

Keep writing to me guys..

See ya.

1:29 AM

Publié dans Blogs | Comments Off

“I wanna be photographed too…In moody black and white”

Publié par drybaby sur juin 28, 2007

Listening to “Adia” by Sarah McLachlan while writing this blog..

“I wanna be photographed too…In moody black and white looking down a staircase in a Paris Block of Apartments…”
DryBaby

“Here we go..”
Wendy James

“I could strip to the waist and sing “Musclebound” by Spandau Ballet while that photographer says “Donne moi Le Sexy…!” and then I could slowly pour water on my face from above..That would look very cool in black and white with every droplet running down my manly features..?”
DryBaby

“No”
Wendy James

“I could look in a mirror and be surprised by my reflection just like you are every single day except obviously I wouldn’t burst out crying and whining “I am hideous!” and start tearing out my hair in clumps..?”
DryBaby

“No”
Wendy James

“My two beauty spots would look great in black and white.I would look like Sal Mineo or a young Bobby De Niro,Taxi Driver Era.If you don’t believe me just download my pictures from Smutbreast and turn them to black and white with the image correction in Preview but lowering the saturation down to nothing….you know that button don’t you? the same one which you use to take 10 years off your face and hide the “extra” chin into those snaps on TRW…color has never been good to you.I always said you were a black and white girl,it hides a multitude of sins and you should talk to your doctor about water retention.He may put you on a diuretic which will make you pee more and release some of the fluid under your chin.. “
DryBaby

“You’re truly the most insensitive man in the world aren’t you?”
Wendy James

“Busy answering all your messages today were you Miss Popular..?”
DryBaby

“I can’t prove it but I suspect you have done something…”
Wendy James

“Just writin’ Da Blogs…mindin’ my own bus-i-nez…you have a paranoid mind..”
DryBaby

“Can you blame me?..”
Wendy James

“Of course not.Plenty of middle women in the music biz become gay when their career begins to reach the level where only other gay women will buy their albums and tickets…look at Joan Jett and Melissa Ethridge and by making your songs totally labyrinthine in their lyrical meanings is a stroke of genius.The dykes will think you are talking about another woman when you are really probably talking about a piece of cake or a pair of shoes..or whatever..who listens to the words if you are straight..?..Personally I couldn’t care less what you sing about”
DryBaby

“I mean can you blame me being paranoid..?”
Wendy James

“Why?Is someone bothering you?..”
DryBaby

“You are”
Wendy James

“I told you didn’t I?…Do not be jealous of Lauren Jones..Okay she is younger than you and still needs to think about wearing a bra or in her case two big diamante encrusted pockets (for her diamante encrusted hankie and diamante encrusted ciggies?) and the menopause might as well be part of a washing machine for all it means to a young woman like her..and she is young..very young…but do I write about her?…No I don’t..I write about you…I find pictures of you and make jokes about YOU…I write funny witty blogs which shatter your already fragile confidence when I notice another blemish on your face..all about YOU…
I make up charming little nicknames like Jellybum for YOU…I help you to be as good as me…YOU..and that’s the thanks I get?”
DryBaby

“Wish I hadn’t opened my mouth..”
Wendy James

“How many times have you said THOSE words in the dark,huh?…so anyway let’s do these photos..I will wear a tuxedo and you can hold my spary on body tan and hum “A Kind OF Magic” by Queen while I am being photographed…cool?”
DryBaby

“I am going to photographed by that girl in Paris and there is nothing you can say to stop me..”
Wendy James

“Don’t get photographed topless!Remember the trouble you had with those babies last time and at least you were 25 then.They must look like a rock slide in an white trash trailer park now and your belly button must look like a one eyed fat baby who’s melting…and ask her to do something about your baby eyelashes..did you burn them off with your lighter?…and don’t get photographed sticking one middle finger up at the camera or I will crucify you….and don’t get photographed completely naked…your women’s part looks like a credit card swipe machine…which was broken in a fall off the counter of a shoe shop and is held together with rubber bands….otherwise..be yourself!”
DryBaby

“He gets worse every day!..”
Wendy James

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“There will be no living with him now..”

Publié par drybaby sur juin 28, 2007

“I would like to thank the Academy for this victory,my friends and family.God and of course Janet Jackson…..I would just like to sing “Bennie and The Jets” by my great friend Elton John..”
DryBaby

“There will be no living with him now..”
Wendy James

“What will we call it?”
DryBaby

“Call what?”
Wendy James

“Our baby”
DryBaby

“What baby?…and I think I am developing a brain embolism..”
Wendy James

“The one we’re gonna have..that’s next on my list..right above “Bring Reggae to Iraq” and just below “Eat Apricots In The Bath”..”
DryBaby

“This is your new plan,isn’t it?”
Wendy James

“Well I think we ought to.It will have all my characteristics like ice blue eyes,a dimple in the chin,dark hair,Irish genes and whatever things you have..you must have some something,after all you weren’t hatched were you?”
DryBaby

“What things I have?”
Wendy James

“Yeah you know the bits that make you what you are..so when people find out about them they say “That sounds like Wendy alright.Did she leave many bite marks? You should douse that in disinfectant…”
DryBaby

“Like what?”
Wendy James

“Your unnervingly accurate judgement,the ability to look like you are computer generated and your baby sized hands..”
DryBaby

“Fuck you”
Wendy James

“Now you’re getting the hang of my plans..you and I are of one mind you know…So when are we changing the name of our band..?”
DryBaby

“Our band?”
Wendy James

“I was thinking of “DryBaby’s Racine” or if you prefer just call it “DryBaby”..that would look good on the flyers and it is catchy too and we could do without the pictures of your face don’t you think?..I mean we are trying to “sell” our band here not advertise a new cartoon franchise.I’ve lost count the number of times people have asked me what that “thing” in the side of your neck is..is it a tapeworm?”
DryBaby

“It is not our band it is my band.I will keep the name Racine and may in fact call it “Wendy James’Racine” and I will put 45 pictures of my face on the flyer because it is my band and people will say “oh that’s the beautiful Wendy who is being pestered by that git…”
Wendy James

“It this a new method of apology,is it? I have to say it won’t catch on..and don’t attempt to bite me.Honestly arguing with you is like trying to take a plate of barbeque ribs from a hungry dog..”
DryBaby

“It is not an apology of any kind..and we are not having sex..”
Wendy James

“That’s the beauty of modern technology.We don’t have to actually have sex…and frankly having to sing “Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” before getting you into bed.Then 10 minutes of effort just to hear you say “Well that’s me finished..” isn’t worth it.I will just send you a padded envelope with some of my “essence” and you can do the rest.I will also send you a picture of me shirtless to get you in the mood…You’ll be over there working the magic and I will be over here seeing if I can poison cats with coal…and continue my research into daffodils…..”
DryBaby

“What if I give birth to twins?”
Wendy James

“We can call them “Starsky” and “Hutch”…and we can have one each..You can keep yours over there…We will be like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie….Bradgelina..although obviously neither of us will look like we eat orphans from Nigeria as some kind of showbiz delicacy like they do…..Notice you never see those poor kids after she adopts them do you?…”
DryBaby

“What would we be called?”
Wendy James

“DryJames or WendyBaby…which is exactly what those men call you in the bar on Friday night before asking you to give them “some sugar”..”
DryBaby

Lol!

Thanks for your letters everyone…

Coffee time…

Your humble servant…

“Liar”
Wendy James

“True and keep away from Dunkin’ Donuts in your fragile mental state.Those ‘All-You-Can-Eat-For-$1′ offers are like heroin to people like you..”
DryBaby

“But I am depressed.Cheer me up with some good news..”
Wendy James

“The smoking ban comes in force in England in the next few days..”
DryBaby

“That’ll do the trick…Gimme a dollar.”
Wendy James

See ya

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“I hate being photographed..”

Publié par drybaby sur juin 26, 2007

“I hate being photographed..”

“Show me honestly..”

Oliver Cromwell

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“We Gobbed On Your Fries.Have A Nice Fucking Day..”

Publié par drybaby sur juin 5, 2007

Listening to Echo Beach by Martha and The Muffins as I write this blog..

(That dates me immediately..)

How depressing is it to see that completely “clueless” flyer

about Glen Matlock’s Gig?

(Glen has done some good things as a solo artist,and some lousy things but he will forever be the Pete Best of the Sex Pistols.Left the band slightly before they hit the big time…thus Sid Vicious being recruited..and then spent the rest of his fucking life trading on the bugger!…even Wendy “I Was In a Little Band Called Transvision Vamp You May Have Heard Of Them.Cos I Was In Them.” James won’t be trading on the Vamp in 20 years time…mainly because she will be stone cold dead with a wooden stake through her dusty corpse..)

The flyer is a (admittedly well designed eye catching) joke..

It is a 30 years out of date “mockery”

of the anger and spirit of 1977..

What’s next….?

MacDonald’s Punk Happy Meals?

in boxes with the Queens picture (and cliched safety pin)on it?

“We Gobbed On Your Fries.Have A Nice Fucking Day.You Cunt!”

Sadly I bet some clever (idiotic) marketing man in the company is

probably thinking of such an idea…

to co-incide with the “anniversary” of punk..

Truly the Queen has had the last laugh after all..

Maybe she will turn the tables and disrupt punk’s celebrations this time?

How ironic would THAT be..

Johnny Rotten (John Lydon) about to make some ridiculous Punk speech on the bank of the Thames…

and along comes the Queen in the Royal Yacht and interrupts him..

“Oi Lydon,you fucker.Piss off you old geezer.You make me wanna puke! Know what you are mate? You are a Cunt,that’s what!..”
The Queen

“Oooh get her!”
A Queen

Oh yeah I forgot they are having the

Diana Memorial Concert..

(I miss her SO much.She would often get me milk and a newspaper down the shops before I got up and always had a cold youghurt ready for me first thing..When she shot herself,while hanging from a door frame by a tie,just after her ferry sank..I was devastated.Then Elton John sang Candle In The Wind and I was fuckin’ suicidal..)

round about that time….

Which of course (right or wrong) will grab all the headlines..

“Diana Would Have Loved This Year’s Pop Idol Winner”

“Diana Would Have Liked To Have Been Produced by Timbaland”

“Diana Was A Huge P Diddy Fan”

“Diana Was a Huge Pussycat Dolls Fan”

“Diana Would Like To Be Here.Alive And All”

Hmmmm…perfect sabotage,your Majesty…

Johnny Rotten will be livid….

It will ruin his 30th Anniversary Sex Pistols Box Set & Dvd release..

as he rebelliously scrapes the Punk barrel dry..

to rebelliously pay his rebellious mortage..

“Joe Strummer Would Have Wanted To Be Alive This Year Too”

lol!

Anyway I was asked..

“why is wendy still touring.the album is out months.drybaby?”

Why…? You ask why?

For the fans of course…(no I don’t believe that either and I wrote it..)

and maybe (just maybe) to compensate her accountant for the

“disappointing” royalties the album will get in download fees..

“Here your $14.36c royalties from Racine No 2.Buy some hair gel.I’ve seen puppies who have better hair than you…”

and stop the (increasingly) tough US immigration department..

(Robbie Williams has “suddenly” decided to return to England and this has nothing to do with his visa coming up for renewal..no siree..)

wondering..

Should they just take her to Guantanamo,kick her ribs in,then send her back to England..?

“This is the USA bitch.We can do whatever we like to you.”

or

Wait until she gets ill and stick her with medical bills totalling $100,000s..?

“Sorry Miss James but you have cancer of the ovaries.Do you smoke?”

Once again Irony raises it ugly head as cancer of the ovaries for W would be like tennis elbow or a burst appendix for most people..

Talk about the one part of her anatomy she NEVER uses…

“When are you planning on having a baby Wendy?”

“When I can find a man who loves the “real” me..”

“So never then?”

“Yep”

Cos her days in the good ole U.S. of A are numbered….

How do I know?…..

Hush Hush…(tips side of nose and winks)

Why do you think I am encouraging people to visit her site and boost her plays?

and “welcoming” people like “Rio” and “Love And Hate” too?

and “Fleche D’or” will follow…

As this week progresses….(rubs hands slowly with glee)…

All part of a plan…

lol!

See ya.

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